How the tables turn, how the loose ends burn.
Back in 2009 — another lifetime it seems — I was waiting for my connecting flight at the very same KL airport for my honeymoon destination. My eyes were filled with love, my heart with promises of seven lifetimes, and my soul with hope for a happily-ever-after.
And today, I sit at the same place, awaiting a connecting flight to a business meeting. Not on a honeymoon anymore, not resting my head on anyone’s shoulder. Instead, I stand firm upon my own. No one’s ring on my finger — I wear my own diamonds now. Not anyone’s Poonam anymore — I carry my own name, my own self.
A cycle completes. What began here, I close with respect today. That chapter is over. Bitter and sweet, not worth even a tweet — but finally, the story has ended.
My heart is heavy, yet my soul feels light.
My eyes are wet, but they no longer intend to cry.
A part of my soul has died, but in its ashes, something beautiful is born.
I am born again.
I did, I regretted, I learned, and I moved on.
With blind trust, I gave myself to a man I thought was my soulmate for this life and beyond. How fickle human thoughts can be — we tie all our hopes and life threads to someone so deeply, never preparing ourselves for the disappointment.
And disappointment never disappoints.
Love deceives you with fleeting pleasures in someone else’s arms. It crushes your dreams into nightmares, demonises you, criticises you, and blames you. It tries to tame the fire in you, kill the spark it once claimed to adore.
Despite the obvious betrayal, I still pray that no one should ever have their heart broken the way mine was. That no one should ever have their safe abode ransacked by the very people they trusted and loved most. But beware: it is often those in positions of trust who put the knife to your heart — and never flinch as they do it.
I am born again from my ashes. My wounds still bleed. My healing is still far away. Yet I have promised myself: I will not budge. I did no wrong in trusting, I did no wrong in loving.
Because this — this is what love is meant to be: giving and trusting, not questioning and doubting.
And to those who ask why I kept a blind eye, let me answer: I never kept a blind eye. I simply loved and trusted a man who meticulously cheated and looted me.